For You

For You

I never thought that loving you
Would be a crime

From the moment we first met
I knew that my love would be eternal

My need to protect you
Overwhelming as I held you

The day that our eyes met
Something in me changed

I knew with absolute certainty
That I would lay my life down

For you

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jscreationz @ freedigitalphotos.net

jscreationz @ freedigitalphotos.net

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I never thought that loving you
Would be a crime

I wanted to bring everything joyous and good
Into your life

To give you all that I could
To see you smile, be happy

To know that every single day
You would be in my life

And to watch you explore the world
And I would capture the world

For you

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I never thought that loving you
Would be a crime

But somehow I feel like a criminal
Lock me up

For loving you, for caring
For protecting you

I never once doubted you
Every day I fought for you

I thought that I knew you, cared for you
Better than anyone else cared

For you

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I never thought that loving you
Would be a crime

Yet my punishment is that of
A condemned soul

Physically the pain is insignificant
External ills that will heal

But inside where it matters
Is my heart

The heart that burns with love for you
Every day and especially now

A heart that is broken, smashed, barely beating
Yet still overflowing with feelings

For you

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beautiful white Calla lilly over black background

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I never thought that loving you
Would be a crime

I never thought that we would
End this way

I thought that together we would
Conquer the world

And between us bring nothing
But happiness upon ourselves

Yet a crime I have committed
And so my sentence I will serve

For you

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© Jade Reyner 2014

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A broken seat and a vacuum cleaner hose

Image courtesy of iosphere via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of iosphere via freedigitalphotos.net

There are days when it seems perfectly normal to be walking around with a vacuum cleaner hose slung over your shoulder. And there are days when it is almost acceptable to sit in a cinema chair that ‘reclines’ as soon as you lean back (for ‘recline’ read broken via methods best not explored). There are also days when it makes sense to print off a parking ticket for a day when parking restrictions don’t apply. Because for all of us, there are days that are just downright ‘funny’.

I often find myself thinking that things are funny, either in an amusing way or a peculiar way and I have been told on many occasions that I have a rather odd sense of humour. All of the above examples happened over a period of two days however to me, they were just part of my everyday life. I have an unfortunate sense of humour in that I tend to laugh at the most inappropriate times. Like when my son falls over, or I accidentally spill hot coffee all over my husband’s lap. It is not that I don’t care about them, it is just that for whatever reason, things like that make me laugh.

And then there is the funny peculiar side of things. For me this is when ‘odd’ things just happen. Like coincidences, or when the phone rings at the precise moment that you have been expecting it to ring. That actually happened to me a few days ago. I was sitting working as usual when I had this thought pop into my head that the phone was going to ring and two seconds later, it did. Thankfully I hadn’t got as far as predicting who was going to be on the other end as that would have been pretty spooky but still, funny peculiar.

Humour is important – very important. I know that we are all aware that it takes less effort to smile than it does to frown but how often do we remember that? When I sat in said cinema seat, I was in hysterics. My friend was on the point of disowning me but it just made me totally lose the plot. Every time I tried to move it creaked and as soon as I sat back, the whole thing reclined and almost folded me up in it. After several thoughts about how it had come to be like that, we finally elected to move but that incident which could have easily not happened had I chosen another seat, set me up for what turned out to be a great evening.

Image courtesy of Apple's Eyes Studio via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Apple’s Eyes Studio via freedigitalphotos.net

There are times when it is hard for all of us to laugh and enjoy life. There are times when we feel like we are walking through treacle or we are on a never ending conveyor belt that just goes round and around. Yet it really is true, that laughter is the best medicine. Whether it be that we are watching an old movie, or a really good comedy or we are laughing at things that we have done or that others around us have done, there is nothing like really having a good old laugh.

Just recently times here have been fraught and when I left to go to the cinema that night, I really wasn’t in the right frame of mind. But give me a broken chair, a good movie and lots of things I really shouldn’t have been eating, and I was in a hugely better place by the time that I got back.

I am not suggesting that it is that easy and nor, I guess, should it be. But to have a time when I just relaxed and enjoyed the ‘fun’ side of life was something that I badly needed. Thus the following morning, when I was walking around with a piece of vacuum cleaner hose over my shoulder, it felt like the funniest thing on earth. And that felt damn good.

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This post forms part of the Stream of Consciousness prompt which can be found by clicking here. (Yup, I am a couple of days late – sorry Linda.)

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No one tells you when you’ve done a good job

Image courtesy of Master Isolated via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Master Isolated via freedigitalphotos.net

It’s true. They don’t.

Rarely does anyone take the time to say “Thank you – great job”, yet they are more than ready to let you know when you’ve messed up. I sort of think that organisations have forgotten that we are all human beings and that we have our physical and emotional limits. Think of it this way…

If you find a puppy that has been mistreated, you show it love, care and tenderness until it returns to full health. As a reward it will love you back and give you loyalty and devotion. This scenario doesn’t seem to transfer to us however. Most people are given little or no encouragement when it is needed and yet they are expected to give their loyalty and devotion with only the threat of redundancy as incentive.

Starting secondary school (age 11+) is a big thing and my eldest and his friends have been there for just over a week now. As with all secondary schools over here, children feed into them from a number of local primary schools (age 4 – 11) and so this is the first time that he is experiencing any idea of how other children (apart from his former classmates) are performing in comparison.

Every night we talk through how his day went and during the last few days it has become apparent to me that the children from his former primary school, are more than holding their own against their counterparts from other feeder schools. Which is great news.

The more I thought about it though, the more I realised that in actual fact, my son and his friends had been really lucky with the teaching that they had received at primary school. Even if a child is gifted, it still takes the teacher to notice that and then to be able to draw on that gift in such a way as to benefit that child.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net

And so, I decided to say “Thank you.”

I spoke first to his most recent teacher and then I spoke to the headmaster, and I said exactly the same thing to both of them – “Thank you for doing such a great job with my son.”

They both seemed surprised that I had taken the time to say this and to compliment them on the job that they were doing but I would like to think that in some way, it made them feel good. That it made them realise that regardless of the bad days, they are getting something right somewhere, with the children that they are sending onwards. And that is what teaching and every other job is about. Making a difference.

So if we take the time to tell people that they have done a great job, then surely that will make them feel much more positive when the bad days hit. Right?

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O’ exercise, how I hate thee…

Female legs jogging on a trailWalking.

This is what it has come down to. Walking.

After my body has effectively argued against every other possible form of exercise, I have been left with the most simplistic – and yet some would argue beneficial – exercise of all.

This week has seen the start of a new intention. I am intending to walk for at least thirty minutes, three times a week. Anything else is a bonus.

And so it began.

On day one I strode out confidently, making sure that I kept the pace up and even flirting with the idea of having a jog in a week or so’s time – because walking is easy, right? I mean, I walk loads. I even did a ten mile charity walk a couple of years ago with no issue at all. So this, thirty minutes – piece of cake.

Ha – ha – ha – ha…

smiley vektor set

Today was day three and barely thirty seconds into the walk my hamstrings started having a moan. Nothing major, just a little grumble, but they weren’t easily assuaged and by the time we reached the bottom of the inevitable hill, they were seriously angry. After some rapid renegotiation, they agreed to go up the hill but sneaky little things that they are… they only went and had a word with my calf muscles. By the top of the hill my legs were mounting a coup and it was all I good do to get to the halfway point. I swear I could hear them laughing at me.

Turning around to head back there was a slight mumble of agreement, but by then word had spread to my knees and lower back so it was only a matter of time before my neck joined in. Reaching minute number twenty three my legs finally admitted defeat and allowed that wonderful numbing warmth to spread through them which carried me relatively comfortably on for the rest of the thirty nine minutes (yay – I did an extra nine minutes!) But I had taken their point. They were not happy.

Returning home I stretched them out carefully and gave them the love and attention that they deserved, but I have yet to break it to them that we get to do this all again in less than twenty four hours.

Image courtesy of david castillo via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of david castillo via freedigitalphotos.net

Wish me luck WordPress and if anyone wants to give my legs some tips… please feel free…

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Inspiring workplaces

inspiringspacesAs part of a blog hop run by the wonderful Cate Russell-Cole, I was tagged to share my workplace – or more importantly – the place that inspires me to write.

I am actually really lucky because I have two workspaces, one upstairs and one downstairs and it really depends what mood I am in as to which one I use (or whether I can be bothered to carry the laptop and all the relevant paraphernalia back upstairs after a downstairs session!)

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This is a photo of my ‘office’ although as it is our spare bedroom, you can imagine that it has many other uses as well. When I am upstairs I am isolated and so it is important for me to be surrounded by photos of my family (including the cat) as well as various trinkets that you can see on the desk. I would love to say that the bookshelf above my head is full of all kinds of great literary works, however the reality is that it contains several folders, each of which are full of printed instructions as to how to play the various Harvest Moon DS games. I have a pin board on one side and then a large white board directly in front of me which are fab for keeping things safe and jotting down ideas.

Usually I work up here when I am in the middle of writing a new novel. I find the peace and quiet is what I really benefit from and although I do have a radio, I only ever listen to it when the cricket commentary is on.

Now to my downstairs workspace…

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All right…it’s the dining room table but…you can clearly see the one thing that I am never far away from. My Oxford Thesaurus. I use the table downstairs mainly when I am editing because it gives me chance to take a walk in the garden if I need to. Although I don’t have my photos here (and still no great literary works I’m afraid), I do have the fish, the hamster and the cat for company. This is also infinitely closer to the kettle, which is a must for someone who drinks as much tea as I do.

Image courtesy of gubgib via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of gubgib via freedigitalphotos.net

As great as both of these spaces are though, I would say that neither of them actually inspire me to write. They are perhaps best described as ‘tools of my trade’ where in fact the actual inspiration comes from a myriad of other sources. One of my favourite times for thinking and working through ideas is when I go for a walk. I usually try to find somewhere that is pretty, leafy and maybe has trickling water or the call of birds. Places like these always relax me and make me feel happy and that for me, is the key to being inspired.

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Cate has asked that as part of the blog hop, we tag other bloggers to share their writing spaces/inspiring spaces so I hereby tag…

Deb Kraklow, Elaine Jeremiah, Charles Yallowitz, Dennis Langley, Richard Ankers, Susan Nicholls and Sherrey Meyer.

You’re up guys – and anyone else who wants to join in. Just pick up the link here to Cate’s original post and away you go.

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A slice of nostalgia…

I must have walked past this building a hundred times and yet for the first time ever yesterday, I noticed the faded lettering above the door.

Sepia Bakery Shop

If you look closely you can just about make out the words “CAKES & PASTRIES”.

A little digging  confirmed that this somewhat run-down building, did in fact used to be a bakery and children from the senior school would come here with their pennies and buy the stale iced buns. The ones that were only fit for throwing out. What would Health and Safety make of that?

What a lovely provenance and how sad it is to see it standing so lonely and empty today.

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If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?

041514-sywbannerThis is just one of the four random questions posed by Cee in this week’s Share Your World post and I couldn’t resist. Here is what I would do.. and my answers to the other questions.

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Have your blogging goals changed?

Yes, they definitely have. When I first started blogging I wanted to keep my blog true to my writing and to my journey into self-publishing. Since then I have been inspired by so many of you to share other things about myself and challenges such as these form part of that. My goal is no longer to just meet other writers, but to also meet anyone who shares similar likes and interests to me. I love interacting with everyone who visits my blog and so my goal is just to provide content that others can enjoy. It’s as simple as that.

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?

I would definitely have to be on the trapeze – which is odd because I think it would scare the life out of me. Partly I think it is because I like the sparkly, sequined costumes but I suppose I would like to have the skill and agility of the people who fly up there. I would worry about hitting the top of the tent though, I don’t think that would be a good look.

If you could go back and talk to yourself at age 18 what advice would you give yourself?  Or if you are younger than 25 what words of wisdom would you like to tell yourself at age 45?

As I am over 25 then I am advising my 18 year old self.

I would say that I should take things more slowly and not jump at everything. To really consider which life choices are right for me but more than that, to allow myself to take advantage of every opportunity. As we get older we tend to reflect on those chances that we didn’t take and I think I would advise myself to take them and perhaps take more risks.

NOT my favourite comfort food :-) Image courtesy of duron 123 via freedigitalphotos.net

NOT my favourite comfort food :-)
Image courtesy of duron 123 via freedigitalphotos.net

What is your favourite comfort snack food?

Too easy. Chocolate.

Although… I am currently working on trying to cut this down as it is not good for the waistline….sigh.

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These questions form part of the Share Your World challenge hosted by Cee’s Photography.

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